Publisher: DreamCatcher Interactive
Developer: World Forge
System: PC
Genre: Real-Time Strategy
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Attention gamers: we have a mistitling in aisle five! The real-time strategy game known in America as Great War Nations: The Spartans should actually read The Fate of Hellas, as it does in Europe and the rest of the RTS loving world. This correction should clarify any confusion as to why a game apparently about Spartans also includes a Macedonian campaign. The reason for this can only point to something to do with name recognition and perhaps Gerard Butler, yet for World Forge’s inability to title correctly, they’ve managed to cobble together a respectable looking war.

GWN: The Spartans is a reasonably priced strategy sim with a pretty face and everything else gamers have come to expect from the RTS genre. Two decidedly different campaign settings are available, one encompassing Agesilaus II’s Spartan shenanigans and the other focusing on the future conqueror-to-be, Alexander the Great. The two crusades offer seven missions apiece, each with its own set of goals, which is usually the eradication of the opposing army.

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Publisher: EA
Developer: EA Los Angeles
System: Wii
Genre: Puzzle
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Videogames typically don’t translate well into movies. Let’s get that out of the way while bearing in mind that the same applies going the other way, too. Hollywood just can’t seem to get the formula right any better than they did with comic book movies, and it’s been proven time and time again. But take a moment to breathe this in: Steven Spielberg, the man responsible for keeping smiles on our faces throughout the 70′s and 80′s, has spawned a videogame. That game is Boom Blox, a physics puzzler poised to add fuel to the Nintendo fires and prove that when you switch roles around good things can happen.

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Publisher: Ubisoft
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
System: PC
Minimum requirements: Windows XP or Vista; 3GHz Pentium or AMD Athlon 3000; 1GB RAM, 128 MB DirectX compliant, Shader 3.0 enabled video card; Direct X compliant sound card
Genre: Tactical FPS
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Throughout my life I’ve always been told that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Sound words from a trustworthy source, unfortunately falling on the deaf ears of a tinker. Through my inattentiveness, car stereos have miraculously become silent, cell phones have been alchemized into bricks and relationships were condemned via paranoia and suggestion. Ubisoft listened to reason, though, and have stuck to their guns (pun intended) for Rainbow Six Vegas 2, the sequel to 2006’s sin city squad based shooter. We’re still in Nevada for part of this outing, but more content, a cool character customization feature, and a few other incentives have been added to make this run a little bit more than yesterday’s terrorist hunt.

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A petition demanding that director Uwe Boll stop making movies has been making its way around the Internet . It’s been in circulation for a few weeks now and even managed to get the director’s attention. Boll has stated that if the petition reaches 1,000,000 signatures, he’ll retire from the film business.

A pro-Boll petition is also floating around online, but those people are dumbasses. Anyone who claims to like an Uwe Boll flick is either a liar or saw the movie while on drugs. (Amazing drugs, not regular drugs. BloodRayne still sucked on regular drugs.) I’d rather get kicked in the nuts by a kangaroo wearing hiking boots than sit through House of the Dead again.

Uwe Boll’s movies suck, and as much as I’d like to see him quit, I know he never will. This petition could get one hundred million signatures and Boll would just laugh at all the people who know his name.

Postal comes out in theaters on May 23, the same day as the new Indiana Jones movie.

Publisher: D3 Publisher of America
Developer: Digital Extremes
System: Xbox 360
Genre: Action
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Back in 2004, the world was getting its first whiff of the next generation, which breezed through in the form of some very pretty but blurry screenshots of a project called Dark Sector, a title supposedly in the works for Microsoft’s new console, the Xbox 360. Lookers-on who were skeptical of the visuals were assured by developer Digital Extremes that these were 100 percent authentic “new hotness” and being shown in the company’s own proprietary engine. It was enough of a spark to start the drool rolling for new hardware, although it was soon discovered that it was only that — a spark. Not long after the screenshots came out, Dark Sector and its sci-fi setting went, well, dark.

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Take-Two has confirmed a sequel to 2k Boston’s multiple game-if-the-year winner, Bioshock, which is due to appear sometime within the fiscal fourth quarter of 2009. Although the publisher remains the same, the development will be handled by a new division of 2k in Novato, Calif. The new studio is said to be comprised of several 2k Boston and Australia alumni. No platform has been announced, but it’s safe to say the PC and 360 are on the docket. (The PS3 might get the nod as well.) The man himself, Ken Levine, is said to be involved in the sequel, but no official role has been specified yet. 2k Boston, Levine’s home studio, is rumored to be working on an unannounced X-COM title.

Source: Shacknews

Bioware has released “Bring Down the Sky” for their space epic, Mass Effect, via the Xbox Live Marketplace. For a mere 400 Microsoft points, you get 90 minutes of extra content, a 50 point boost to your gamerscore and an introduction to a new race: the four-eyed, eight-nostriled Batarians, a vile species that’s hijacked a mobile asteroid station. We’ll assume that Commander Shepard and the Elite crew of the Nomandy will be able stop them before the asteroid plunges into the surface of nearby Terra Nova, killing millions of innocent civilians.

Publisher: Meridian4
Developer: Black Element
System: PC
Minimum requirements: Pentium IV 2 GHz or compatible; 512 MB RAM; GeForce FX, ATI 9600 or compatible; 3 GB free hard drive space; DirectX: 9.0c; Windows XP or 2000
Genre: First-person shooter
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

In all types of media, there’s a common occurrence often referred to as the “me too” complex, in which the pioneer of an idea is emulated and, in some rare cases, surpassed. In video games, the first-person shooter (FPS) genre tends to be the biggest offender of this practice, leading us into all-too familiar crate filled rooms, offering the same stock of souped up weaponry and affording players a chance to see if the concept of déjà vu holds fast across entire galaxies and gaming platforms.

The makers of Alpha Prime know their influences: the corridors cast the same shadows as Doom 3, the physics react like Half-Life 2 and there’s even a bullet time effect for which the references are too numerous to mention. The setting, reminiscent of Red Faction, also speaks of a resistance to authority and one man’s attempts to stop an evil corporation from obtaining a certain valuable commodity. Yet throughout all of this rehash and tribute is an enjoyable, although superficial, experience.

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Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: Flagship Studios
System: PC
Minimum requirements: 1.8 GHz processor; 1 GB RAM; 128 MB RAM with Pixel Shader 2.0 support; 6 GB free hard drive space; DirectX 9.0c; and Windows XP with SP2
Genre: Online Action RPG
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

It has been happening for centuries, right under our noses, laced throughout history but paid no mind by the masses of the world. As throngs of unholy demons stream through fiery gates, all life on the surface is obliterated. Blocks of businesses and homes decay with a simple touch and a once great metropolis is transformed into nothing more than an encampment for Satan’s minions as they cast their blight over civilization. Hell has bored its way through the crust, and left the top layer of Earth scorched with blackness. Meet the new hell; it’s your job to clean it up.

The Knights of the Templar knew the score, they were fully aware of this phenomenon dating back to the crusades, but a jealous ruler squelched their operation, sending the knights into hiding, and subsequently allowing the forces of Hell to regroup for another attack. This time, however, we were not prepared. Three decades into the new millennium they struck again on the unaware populace, centering the bulk of their attacks directly on the city of London, England. What was once a bustling center of commerce and industry has since become a “hellformed” habitat for the minions of the underworld.

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Let’s talk about God for a moment, shall we? Not an impossibly enormous bearded man resting on an opulent throne deciding the fates of countless galaxies and their inhabitants, but rather man’s mission to emulate God.

Populous, Sim City, Black & White – it’s all laid out in front of you. Build, destroy, cause a life-ending earthquake and then build a new baseball stadium to mend the wounds. These forefathers of the Simulated Holy Father allowed us to operate as lord of the land, but only within the confines of the earthbound plane.  When you compare that to what’s ahead, these classics barely scratched the paint when it comes to fabricated flexibility.

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Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sega Am2
System: Xbox 360
Genre: Fighting
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Just the utterance of the word “Virtua” brings to mind the good ‘ol days of chaotic arcade noise, heavy pockets lined with quarters and, more specifically, the early 90′s — an age when the fighting genre was peeled off the screen and reapplied with the inclusion of an extra dimension. Suddenly, matches weren’t reserved to a single plane and strategy; tactics and skill were the judge of combat, not magic fireballs and spinning back kicks. This, my friends, was Sega’s great contribution to gaming. Forget Sonic, throw away your Sega CD and for the love of Alex Kidd, don’t ever mention the 32x again. Sega owned the arcades, especially with Virtua Fighter.

Now here we are, over ten years later, but instead of the din of arcade noise and the rude fellow swearing incoherently at Ghosts and Goblins, we have our couch and the power of the Internet to quell our fighting fascination. With Virtua Fighter 5 the brawl has gone online, and while some might curl their lips in discontent, others accept that the American arcade is dead and this is our home now.

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A few weeks ago, I started playing World of Warcraft. I’ve come up with a short list of aggravating things about the game:

The Horde: You guys are jerks. I’m minding my own business, killing hundreds of bears, when all of a sudden three guys come from out of nowhere and destroy me. The next several minutes is spent running to my body, reviving myself and then immediately getting killed again. It’s almost sad, because even though I know they’re hiding there, I still go to revive myself, thinking this time will be different. I’m sure that when I’m high enough to destroyhilate those much weaker than me, I’ll love it. For now, it sucks, and I hate you.

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Publisher: EA
Developer: Black Box
System: Xbox 360
Genre: Extreme Sports
Release date: Available now
Review by: Andrew Clark

Skateboard paradise is a place where all the railings are chipped and blackened with paint from the underside of sponsorship decks, and where the sun always shines as bright as a Gary Busey smile. It’s a preserve where professionals and novices alike outnumber pedestrians, tricking, setting up lines and grabbing insane amounts of open air in the hopes of nailing that perfect performance. This is a vision not too far from EA’s Skate, the “other” skateboarding game, a contender which looks to unseat the current crown bearer by firmly grounding itself in reality.

Now take this virtual dreamland and put yourself in the kicks of a lowly nobody, clambering up the ranks to professional grade stardom. Your day started as any other normally did, making runs, dumping it occasionally, yet somehow maintaining good spirits throughout. As you shoot through a hallway and pop up onto a steep rail, the smile tickles your earlobes with wideness; it’s a beautiful line, but the transit authority bus that slams into you doesn’t see it the same way. Welcome to the hospital, population: you.

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Hollywood can get away with rehashing old movies and TV shows, right? Well, what about games? If an obscure classic like Logan’s Run is to be remade, then Dungeon Keeper 2 certainly deserves a face lift as well!

Here’s a game that exhibited what interactive entertainment could be. The atmosphere was creepy, quirky and funny all at the same time, the voiceover and sound effects were satisfyingly comical, and the organic method of digging out your own custom hovel for your minions meant you could create different choke points and layouts practically every time you played! Grab baddies by the handful, drop them on the unsuspecting and watch chaos ensue! Heck, even jump into the fight by possessing character and lay on a personal beat down if you want. Frankly it surprises me that more RTS games don’t offer this feature as standard. It was such an enjoyable way to feel like you were in control, and as we know control was everything in Bullfrog’s games. (See Populous and Theme Park.)

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You know what I hate? Team-killing. Nothing aggravates me more than getting whacked by someone wearing my colors.

Last night, while playing Warhawk, I got team-killed so many times, I was convinced I had the words “F*** the red team” written across my forehead.Team-killing is bad for everything. It lowers the killer’s stats, and then it lowers your stats when you go and get revenge, which you will do.

There I was, standing on a bridge, converting it back to our color, when a Warhawk flies down and hovers next to me. I was alarmed at first, but I noticed the red name, and realized he was friendly…

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