Publisher: Oxygen Interactive
Developer: Oxygen Interactive
Genre: Sim
Release date: Available now

If playing Britney Spears at Abu-Grabe qualifies as torture, then forcing people to play My Make-Up must be tantamount to water-boarding. I’m noticing an alarming trend, as I review the latest slew of games from O-Games USA. “E for Everyone” is quickly becoming a euphemism for “N for Nobody.” My Make-Up is the latest evidence.

Let’s not mince words here: My Make-Up isn’t really a game. It’s a character creator; a precursor to some other game that doesn’t exist. There is no story, no competition, no leveling up or earning swag. Just you, a face, a color palette, and whichever friends decide to join you to exchange makeovers. Technically, the game sports three modes: Makeover, Pampering, and Facepainting. In reality, Facepainting is the only mode that actually gives the player a free hand with which to do something creative.

As with most character creators, you can chose different eyes, noses, skin tones, and hairstyles. The difference, in My Make-Up, is that you can also customize your lipstick, blush, mascara, and eyeliner. Applying makeup happens pretty much the way it does in real life: you touch the color you want with your stylus and then drag the stylus across your face in the desired area. Then you save that, maybe take a picture to show to your friends, and you go do something more fun.

Now maybe I’ve been socialized in a way that prevents me from seeing the fun of this game. Maybe little girls everywhere will love this game forever, as will their mothers, who no longer come home to find $15 tubes of lipstick all over their children’s faces. I doubt it. I grew up with two sisters, no brothers, and did a lot of theater in high school. It’s a miracle I’m not wearing makeup and a skirt as I type this very article.

I know how to put on makeup, and I’ve got a pretty good idea of why little girls love it. All of that is lost in the translation with My Make-Up. The stylus is unresponsive and frustrating. There’s no fun, soft brushes to slap your friends in the face with. YOU aren’t the one who gets to look pretty. Even if you can interact with friends online, it’s no slumber party. It’s just cartoonish faces and a few sound effects; not even any music to speak of. My Make-Up is barely a step up from MS Paint.

While I’m not the target market for My Make-Up, I still feel qualified to call the game a big let-down. There’s barely anything game-like about it, not even mini-games. Facepainting is the only mode in which the player can really take control of the brush, and even that is tedious. Your kids will have a lot more fun with a Halloween makeup set, or something out of a bargain bin at Ulta.

Our Score:

Our Recommendation: