Graphics: Pretty for 1997, Art of Murder plants an Angelina Jolie poser model against a sea of lifeless backdrops and forces her to walk as if Emily Post was standing over her, threatening her with a straight razor. Some of the later scenes are pleasant enough, but there’s nothing going on, so it feels more like a saunter through a ghost town than a quest for justice. Cut scenes are abysmal and often fade to black before the animation is finished. There is also very little in the way of graphics customization, other than screen resolution and color depth.

Interface: The main screen is easily navigated and clear, and the in-game inventory and cell phone are functional. Localization issues such as spelling errors and oddly phrased dialogue crop up from time to time. There’s actually not much that’s “bad” here, but the quality is very low for the 21st century.

Gameplay: Where to begin? Item combinations are frustratingly fickle, only working if stacked in the proper order, and puzzles are equally vexing because of inconsistent and nonsensical solutions. Player movement is crippled; if you click on an action object from across the room, Nicole starts walking and there’s no way to speed up her progress. I also experienced an unfortunate crash to desktop on one of the last puzzles of the game, making me remember how cool autosave is and how this game doesn’t have it.

Sound FX: The voice acting is sub-par all around, with a few exceptions from the South American stand-ins who came across as convincing. Apart from that, sound is only heard when something is activated or when dialogue is spoken. What’s there works, but it lacks any dynamics to make it seem like the developers cared. In fact, there aren’t even footsteps heard when Nicole walks (and she’s really the only one in the game who does), so while it breaks the all important immersion factor, I’m glad I wasn’t forced to hear a monotone tap-dance for hours on end.

Music: A lovely soundtrack gives a small reprieve from the rest of the game, piping out sorrowful low-key piano pieces and dirge-like horn melodies that actually fit their scene locations perfectly. Some of the tunes may sound a little clichéd, but overall this is the shiny spot of Art of Murder.

Difficulty: There isn’t anything to overcome in Art of Murder other than the design of the game; you need to be willing to keep on trying until the square peg fits into the round hole. A few puzzles made sense, while others had me scratching my head, only to find that the answers weren’t something you’d expect from an FBI agent. Also, the majority of the challenges are nothing more than trial and error.

The key here is the difference between challenging and boring. There’s nothing difficult about flipping switches in a box to turn random lights on, especially if there’s no consequence other than being unable to walk though three feet of darkness to the next lit area. The biggest problem is repetition. Get used to it, because there’s no clue as to why or how. Just do it until it works.

Overall: It had to happen; I simply had to review a bad game at some point. Art of Murder: FBI Confidential is that game. Between the lifeless visuals, the laughable dialogue, and the profound lack of thought put into the puzzles; this game wears its budget title on its cover. Adventure gamers, you have the point-and-click gems of yesterday and the occasional treasures that trickle down every so often. Cherish them and stay away from this game.