Publisher: Namco Games
Developer: Mean Hamster Software
System requirements: Windows XP (SP2), Vista, 1.2 GHz Pentium IV or better CPU, 256 MB RAM, 4 MB 3D graphics card, DirectX 7 or higher, 45 MB hard-drive space
Genre: Simulation
Release date: Available now

The worst thing about having pets is bathing them. They can’t stand it and they basically hate you for it. If you don’t wash them, other people will hate you for it because the animals get stinky. A smelly, dirty pet doesn’t help your social life and it doesn’t bring world peace. If it doesn’t bring anything other than negatives, then you might find yourself asking this question: When will they make a game in which I can wash cats? The answer is Cat Wash from Namco Games and developer Mean Hamster Software.

Susie has a cat named Mittens. One day, Mittens comes home from playing outside in the rain and mud. While Susie washes Mittens, her groovy Uncle Oswald, who is an inventor of some kind, overhears her complaining that she doesn’t have an easier way to wash her pet, so he comes up with the Feline Wash-o-Matic 100. Then Susie has the great idea of opening a cat-washing business, since there must be lots of people who hate washing their cats as much as she does.

Cat Wash is a time-management game. When a customer comes in with their cat, an ailment icon appears above the pet showing what work needs to be done. The various things the owner can have done to the cat range from getting rid of its fleas to trimming its fur. You put the kitty on a circular conveyer belt, then you must assign a limited number of available workers to the stations located around the belt. When the station matches the icon indicating what needs to be done, the cat is “cured.” Once all the random icons are matched, you get points. Get enough points and you complete the level. Each level gets harder as the game progresses. You must manage the vast number of cat owners, purchase shop upgrades, please your employees, eject dogs from the shop, pull a scaredy cat off a wall, or deal with the various other things that might happen in a 1970s-themed cat-washing shop.

There are a few things you can pull from Cat Wash that are worth mentioning. Never before has there has been a game focused on washing cats. It’s a very creative, far-out reverse tower defense game in disguise. At times I managed to squeeze some enjoyment out of washing the horde of dirty cats coming into the shop.

Most people want to be challenged when they play games. Cat Wash offers no challenge, even on the Difficult setting. I overcame any obstacle it threw at me without any worry. Later in the game you can buy automatic stations that don’t require an employee to operate, but you quickly find that they are overpowered.

Cat Wash is very repetitive and boring, and it doesn’t bring any real entertainment to the table. The only thing it brings is yawns. My advice is to pass on this game unless you own 150 cats and they all live in your home, or you subscribe to “Cat Fancy.” For everyone else, this game makes a great gag gift.

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