Publisher: Krystian Majewski
Developer: Krystian Majewski
System requirements: Windows XP/Vista/Win 7/Mac OSX Leopard, DirectX 5, 2.0 GHz dual-core CPU, 200 MB hard-drive space
Genre: Adventure
ESRB rating: Not rated
Release date: Available now

Math classes occupy similar places in my life where dentist appointments are usually found. It’s not that I can’t do math (my weekends of Dungeons and Dragons prove that much), but when it comes to the classroom, all the joy leaves me. One day I stumbled upon Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid by Douglas Hofstadter, quite by accident. I barely even knew what it was about, only that it sounded interesting and had Escher pictures in it. Soon, enthralled by stories about pretty high-end mathematical theories, the nature of numbers, and formalized logic, I was enraged. Why hadn’t my teachers showed me how beautiful math truly was? I felt like I had been eating grape skins and wasn’t told about the fine wine next to it.

In a similar way, a small indie game programmed in Flash opened my eyes to the possible humanity that games can offer, but rarely try. Trauma wasn’t made in 2012. I didn’t even buy it in 2012. I got it as part of a Humble Bundle a year ago, and it’s been lingering in my Steam list ever since. Don’t be like me. Go play the full version right here online.

Trauma is a Myst-style adventure about a young woman who’s recovering from an auto accident. You explore her dreams through a series of photographs. The photos don’t fill the screen, which leads to a great sense that these small scraps of film are windows into this woman’s mind. To interact with the world, you draw gestures, which look like smears of light on a long-exposure photo. Each of the four dreams has a different gesture to learn. Once you know them, you can go back to any of the previous ones and find alternate endings.

The stunning part is how Trauma‘s design allows you to explore who this woman is through her dreams. While nothing is spelled out, she does narrate bits, as if she’s giving you a tour. From there you infer details about her life though the symbolism of her dreams. In one dream, you have to catch a ghost that leaves light trails behind. As you hunt it down, you realize that the ghost represents all the role models in her life, particularly her late parents. Capturing this ghost drives both you and the character, and once you finally grasp it, all your purpose is gone, and the dream fades. This is just one of many fantastic setups scattered throughout the game.

Too many “art games” seem to have minimal gameplay and inscrutable narratives. I found Dear Esther to be moving, but only in spite of its own discordant nature. Trauma strikes a great balance by being interpretive without being vague. It’s an intimate mirror of humanity, one that reflects our fears and insecurities, but without being judgmental. When we look into it, we’re startled to see parts of ourselves, but Trauma is a comforting whisper, saying “It’s ok, I’ve been there too.”

In the end, it only lasted for about an hour. I didn’t find all the alternate endings, but I tried. Yet, that hour was the richest gaming experience I’ve had in recent memory. It stuck in my mind like a splinter, and it’s given me a hunger to experience art genuine to human nature. Trauma is an experience that has made every other game I played this year look like the time-wasting fodder it is. Now that I’ve savored this sweet, intrinsic experience, it’s made the extrinsic reward of leveling up and gathering points in other games seem so hollow as to be repulsive. It’s a game so good that it’s ruined me for other games.

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