Publisher: Oxygen Games
Developer: Twelve SRL
Genre: Platformer
Release date: Available now

The current generation of consoles has given developers the ability to latch onto archetypes from gaming’s past and pull them into the light for new generations to enjoy. We’ve already seen digital distribution channels such as Xbox Live and WiiWare reanimate the adventure genre through games such as the recently released Tales of Monkey Island. Side-scrollers have also benefited from the nostalgia, with Bionic Commando Rearmed and its ilk receiving wide acclaim. In an age when former gaming poster child Sonic hustles from gimmick to gimmick looking to reclaim a hint of his past glory, does CID the Dummy stand a chance to become America’s Next Hot Mascot?

CID the Dummy is a 2½-D platformer starring CID, a crash-test dummy brought to life by his creator, a mad scientist whose daughter has been kidnapped. The storyline is simply window dressing designed to propel CID from stage to stage of platforming adventure. Each level is dominated by a series of environmental puzzles that require CID to utilize his abilities, honed through years of crash-test exercises, to move on to the next area. The gameplay exists on a two-dimensional plane, but you also have the ability to move a short distance into the background, making it easier to solve some puzzles and avoid enemy attacks.

CID has a few special moves in his arsenal. His dash move is used to sprint long distances in a short time, usually to make it through time-triggered portals. In addition, there are stealth sequences sprinkled throughout the variety of industrial-themed levels, requiring CID to avoid surveillance cameras and targeting lasers. CID also possesses some simple melee abilities and, with the flick of your wrist, he can generate a bazooka that is used to attack distant enemies.

There’s a reason why these descriptions have a generic feel to them. CID the Dummy is the least soulful platformer I’ve had the displeasure of playing in a long time. CID the character feels like one of those inexplicable mascots that some junior executive brainstormed during the Sega-Nintendo wars. There’s never any compelling reason for a crash-test dummy to be sent into action, and a simple pallet swap wouldn’t have changed the gameplay in the slightest. I know plumbers and bandicoots with bucket-loads more personality than CID.

The resurgence of 2D platforming has been a real treat for old-school gamers like me. Bionic Commando Rearmed showed real inventiveness and demonstrated that the limitations of the genre can lead developers down some interesting avenues, with the loss of one dimension offset by creative puzzle design. Unfortunately, the developers behind CID took the lazy way out. Set against a repetitive series of boring industrial backgrounds, the game sends a haphazard mascot through sequences of routine platforming action, with the majority requiring you to simply vault through a series of obstacles before finding a switch that unlocks a door/elevator at the beginning of the level. You must then retrace your steps through that same morass of mediocrity. Rinse and repeat. In addition, developer Oxygen has inexplicably tied almost every action to unnecessary waggle controls. When you can’t even run down a corridor without waving your wrist back and forth as fast as humanly possible, you begin to suspect the presence of a vast conspiracy to afflict all gamers with carpal tunnel syndrome.

I’m a huge proponent of the Wii, but during the last few years I have not been shy about voicing my displeasure towards developers using it as their personal shovelware dumping ground in a bid to take advantage of unsuspecting casual gamers. Too many PS2 ports for my tastes. It’s time to take a stand. If CID the Dummy succeeds at anything, it demonstrates that a recall is in order.

Our Score:
Our Recommendation: